You’re craving something more vibrant, dynamic, and meaningful. You ask yourself, “Is this all there is?”
You suspect there is somehow more to discover and experience, yet you don’t know exactly how to get there.
You’re curious about or downright desperate for something different.
In life in general. In your work. In your connection with those you love. In your sexuality.
As a relationship and sex coach, I want you to feel every inch of what you deserve to feel.
Turned on.
Alive.
Satisfied.
It might feel like a fantasy right now, but it’s closer than you might think.
Let’s be honest—none of us receive an education in the art of passionate, fulfilling relationships.
We strive for growth and excellence in every other area of our lives, hiring physical trainers or working with executive coaches to take us to the next level, but when it comes to sex and relationships, we think it should just come naturally. Crazy, right?
When we’re in love, we do our best to keep the flame burning as bright as it did when we first met our partner. In the beginning, it’s easy and fun. You’re excited to spend time together, laughing easily and doing thoughtful things for one another.
But somewhere along the way, the sex and flirtation start to flicker and dim. And in some cases, they burn out altogether. Before you know it, you and your partner are holding two tickets to the Lonely & Sexless Club. Where you would have jumped each other’s bones in the past, now you’re curling up in your PJs to watch episodes of Homeland. Your bed? It’s for sleeping. Your shower? For sudsing up. Alone.
“We really love each other, but lately we feel more like roommates.”
“We know something’s wrong. We just don’t know how to fix it.”
“When we talk about our relationship problems, the conversation never goes anywhere.”
“I don’t even know how to bring it up…”
And when the resentment and frustration build up high enough, “Is this all there is?”
With nearly 20 years of experience as a couples and sex therapist, there’s nothing I haven’t heard. I’ve also lived it.
I spent my 20s and 30s pursuing my professional dreams, building a thriving business, and dating while enjoying Chicago life (with the exception of the dreary and blistery period from January to March). Then I met My Person and within five years became a wife, stepmom of two incredible kids, and mother of two babies under 3! Oh, and all of this happened while relocating to a new city three times and living through a global pandemic that changed everything.
Let me be clear though: I didn’t “find” love. We have created it, and we actively do so every damn day. This is far from easy, but it is a committed effort to create a relationship that is deeply intentional. Many people settle for how things are instead of how things could be—a love life that’s expansive, awakening and dynamic. It certainly doesn’t look like this on a daily basis but it is what we strive for together, knowing our values are aligned and our goal is clear.
Here’s what I know for sure:
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Good sex comes at the edge of your comfort zone.
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You don’t have to be a bombshell in 6-inch heels and lacy lingerie or an Adonis with rippling muscles to bring it in the bedroom.
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No matter how hot and heavy you started out, all relationships take work to turn on the steam.
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Your body was built for pleasure, baby.
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A vibrant sexual connection requires courage, vulnerability and a willingness to imagine, play and explore together. It also requires time and attention — something we often give to our iPhones more than we do our partners!
